I just came from another funeral and for the nth time, I listened as people recalled memories of those who had gone ahead of us. Their stories of good times echo across church pulpits and even if the story seems to be the same in all funerals, we still cry out of love for the people we lose and we don’t mind that sometimes, all we really remember and cherish are simple, silly things. In today’s eulogy, friends and family members of Alexis and Nika shared what wonderful people they both were and among them, Raya Martin, a close friend of Alexis managed to make a funny comment on Alexis being gay for him. There were others who made us laugh and cry. We expect this at funerals but we never really are prepared for that moment when it finally becomes clear that these people are gone forever. When they wheel a body out of the church and the coffin disappears from sight, the church feels more like a cold edifice and less like the community of believers that it should be.
But you know, here’s where I quote Lissa and say, there must be a reason for all of this. I quote Phil Dy as well–there aren’t any senseless deaths, just deaths. The real question to struggle with here isn’t why anymore but rather, what now? How does this sudden insight into mortality affect the way I live? Time to turn over a new leaf and believe once and for all that we can manage to be just like them if we’d only try, try, try in our little way to love like they did.
I believe in life again and I really am grateful for people who affect me in this way.
Rest in Peace, Alexis and Nika.